Late Bloomers

Late Bloomers (Julia Dyer, 1996) seems to be doomed to obscurity. I don't recall ever seeing it mentioned on AfterEllen, even when they did a piece on lesbian weddings in TV and film. They did talk about April's Shower and A Family Affair, films I didn't enjoy as much. I hate to say it, but I think Late Bloomers would be more popular if it had hotter actresses. With no stars attached, there's not much to set it apart from other lesbian movies with similar storylines.

Two women, one of whom is married to a man, begin to develop a romantic attachment. It's the first time the "straight" one has ever been attracted to a woman. She's torn between her marriage and this new, exciting connection. Sound familiar? Of course it does. We've seen it before (and since): Imagine Me & You, When Night is Falling, High Art, The Gymnast, D.E.B.S., But I'm a Cheerleader (though sometimes the husband is a boyfriend).

And as in most of those films, there are more people involved than just the three in the love triangle. In Late Bloomers, Carly and Dinah work at the same high school (as a secretary and math teacher, respectively) and the community at large doesn't take well to their relationship being "flaunted" in front of impressionable students.

Once the scenario is established, it's pretty easy to see where this is going. It's a rom-com, and a pretty lighthearted one (even the most serious scene, in which the teachers and parents gather to debate the issue, is undercut with so much humour that it's hard to feel any kind of tension) -- so a happy ending is more or less guaranteed. The girl gets the girl.

But I'll tell you one thing this movie has that the others don't: naked basketball. Dinah is a coach at the school and teaching Carly to play is the background against which they fall in love. Later they play in Dinah's yard, nude, after dark. On a cold night, judging from their visible breath. Makes me feel bad for the actresses -- I imagine shooting a sex scene is bad enough, but a naked sports scene?

Which leads me to something that really bugs me about this movie. Most of the physical interaction between Dinah and Carly is off screen. We see shadows on the wall, we hear heavy breathing, we see a few kisses, but that's it (except the naked basketball, of course). I'd have no problem with that if it weren't for the fact that we do see Carly's teenage daughter Val actually having sex with her boyfriend (as in, we cut into the scene mid-thrust) not once but twice. That's not what I want to see in a gay movie, not when we don't get to see the actual gay stuff.

My other beef (and this bugs me a lot more than the sex issue) is the ending. The first two-thirds of Late Bloomers is pretty smart; the characters' feelings and motivations are demonstrated by their actions and expressions rather than spelled out through dialogue. More than that, it's believable. Rather than the highly stylized, spy-vs.-spy world of D.E.B.S., this movie seems to be taking place in Real Life, or as close to it as the movies ever get. But the ending is way too pat and perfect to be realistic. The girls don't just end up together, they get married, and every single person they know shows up to wish them well and apologize for ever being even slightly uncomfortable with their relationship.

Not only is this transformation too complete and too fast (not unlike Carmen's family's rapid and unexplained change of heart in Season 3 of The L Word), it's just plain sappy. The poetry readings and declarations of love drag on and on, undermining all the subtlety of the first chunk of the film.

Despite the ending, I like watching Late Bloomers for its sense of humour. The music choices add to the comedy, like "Wishin' and Hopin'" playing over the montage of Carly's basketball lessons -- "do the things he likes to do," say the lyrics, "and you will be his" -- while Carly is clearly falling for Dinah. Why couldn't the whole thing have been light and funny like that? If I may borrow Sarah and Lori's rating system, I'd give this film a "Trying Too Hard" bunny.

It's worth a rental, but I won't be adding it to my permanent collection.